For the last several days, email to squarepegfoundation.org has been down. Email coming in to our server was therefore delayed, and in some cases failed.

As of this morning, email to squarepegfoundation.org is restored and is working properly, but it may take some time for any delayed email to get delivered.

Any new email to a squarepegfoundation.org address will be delivered promptly.

It would help us if you would please do two things:

1. Resend any email that you have sent to us in the last week.
2. If you receive a mail delivery status notification of email you sent to squarepegfoundation.org, please forward it to darius@squarepegfoundation.org so that I can check the details and ensure that we don’t have any remaining problems.

Thank you, and I apologize for any trouble this has caused.

Anyone who would like to know more of the technical details can read on…

Our server developed a very strange problem with its RAID array, which we thought at first would be easily resolved, but it wasn’t. Ultimately, we had to get new hardware to replace the old, and then go through a laborious process of rebuilding the RAID. As of this morning, this server is still not up and running.

Other than email, our lesson scheduling database is also effected. As of this morning (April 2, 2014), that system is still not running.

We fixed our email by adding the squarepegfoundation.org domain to our Google Apps account, where everyonefits.org has been for several years.

Your email server may not re-try to contact our email server for many hours, so any delayed email may not be delivered to us right away, even though our new Google-powered email is in place and ready. It’s also possible that your email server has already given up, in which case you should receive a notification that delivery failed. Different email servers are configured differently in this regard, so you may see different notifications, including some saying that email delivery has been delayed.

This is all frustrating, of course, despite heroic efforts by our volunteer IT team. Thank you all for your patience!

Darius

—
Darius Christopher Dunlap
co-Founder, Board President
Square Peg Foundation
darius@squarepegfoundation.org
https://www.squarepegfoundation.org

Students and parents shine!

And you know what that means?  It’s time to start planning your outfit for the best Kentucky Derby Party in the West!  Plan your day  now for the first Saturday in May!

click here to buy your tickets!

See photos of last year’s party. It was a feast for all the senses with polo, fashion and food!  Read some of the write ups:

Horse & Style Magazine

Sail Couture Blog

Half Moon Bay Chamber of Commerce Blog

It’s the spring party you don’t want to miss!  Click here to join us in our most important fundraiser of the year.

 

 

The New Year has us waxing nostalgic.  I’m famous for being a “non-holiday person” but I admit to using the short days and the long nights of December as a time to think and reflect and plan.What became clear as I thought about the amazing 2013 Square Peg had and the challenge and excitement 2014 will bring is that I, as Executive Director of Square Peg, need to answer the essential question  “What do I believe?”

A cup of tea at hand and a sleeping kitten on my feet, I pitched the reins at my heart and this is what appeared on the page.

 

 

 I believe that laughter gives us strength.

Thank you to all who are joining us in our Revolution of Kindness. Happy 2014.

One late night my tear stained cheeks and trembling body fled to the barn and poured my soul out to my favorite old thoroughbred. He quietly ate the saltine crackers I had brought him, and at that moment was when I realized that without him, I probably wouldn’t be here today.

Many places make me happy; beaches, my best friend’s house, and of course my favorite tea shop. But when someone asks where I am content, everyone knows my answer. It’s a place where I teach but also learn. I spend six days a week there, but it’s never enough. I don’t get paid, yet I spend over one hundred dollars a month to just be there. Square Peg Foundation is my home, and is the one true place where my heart aches to be. Square Peg is a barn that rescues horses from the race track and retrains them to use in a program which helps and teaches kids with special needs how to ride and care for an animal five times their size.

The reason it means so much to me was because four years ago I was a complete beginner, and over these past four years I have worked extremely hard to get to where I am today, and I am proud of that. Now, I am teaching lessons and retraining the horses, both of which I plan on doing full-time after college. The great thing about our barn is that no matter how much I teach the kids about riding or horse care, they manage to teach me more. These kids have so much depth to them and I often remind myself how lucky I am to be the one working beside these mini intellectuals. They really make me open my eyes, live in the present, and just enjoy this beautiful life I have created for myself. I love that now I am able to open doors for kids who were in my shoes four years ago, and hopefully help them find their passion in horses too. Although being 17 and knowing that this is exactly what I want to be doing for the rest of my life is a bit scary, I am grateful that I have found my passion so early on in life.

High school has been a roller-coaster, but the barn has kept me sane by providing a haven and an opportunity, and letting me be the one to choose my part in it. Being a part of this organization has taught me an abundance of lessons, through both riding and volunteering, and has made me who I am today. If there is ever a day that I am stressed, exhausted, or just not myself, spending a few hours with the kids will brighten up my entire upcoming week. The barn has opened opportunities for me, such as training jobs and grooming for a professional 3Day-Eventer, and has connected me with people who have now become mentors to me, and their passion for horses and kids has luckily been shared with me. It’s crazy to think that one place, just 15 minutes from my house, could change my entire life, but it’s true.

Without the kids, or the horses, or my close-knit barn family, I would not be the driven, accomplished, passionate, and sometimes completely silly 17 year-old I am today. So in all, this is the place I am content. A small barn nestled upon a hill, with amazing horses and amazing kids; a place that provides space for someone to find themselves and to save these unwanted but incredible wise animals. This place, Square Peg Foundation, is a place that I need in my life.

Please donate to Square Peg to support this work.

December snuck up on us with beautiful weather and short days.  It’s been an amazing year.

In March, we moved to our dream location. Tucked into a coastal canyon with ocean views, forests, a private pond, and beautiful facilities it’s perfect for the families we serve and for our animals.

In May, we built an eight-acre pasture for our retired horses.  They can live out their days as a herd on natural terrain.  While we can’t turn back the clock for our older horses, we see significant improvements in the movement and arthritis management.

In June, we conducted our biggest surfing and riding special needs family day ever!  Over 25 families joined us at the beach for a day of riding and surfing.  The local surfing community and the Boys & Girls Club – including the Junior Lifeguards – helped the kids in the ocean.

In July, we piloted a program to give first job experience to high school juniors and seniors. We hired interns from the local Mid-Peninsula High School to help us run the barn.  Each intern not only learned basic job skills, but by the end, showed real leadership.

By August, we had built our own onsite campground next to the pond.  In the late summer, we hosted three campouts for 13 families and for a very special group of at risk girls. The experience was transformative.  Families enjoyed riding, hiking, kayaking on the pond, fireside music, and first class food.  Children had breakthroughs in sleep patterns, cognitive and social behavior and – most importantly – family fun in nature.   All of the camps were provided free of charge. Words cannot express how important  this is for families.

2013 was a pivotal year for Square Peg.  We exceeded everyone’s expectations.  We have shown national leadership in the areas of recreation for autism families, in horse rescue and in developing meaningful job experiences for young adults with developmental and learning disabilities.  Our new facility gives us the opportunity to grow and continue our simple but important mission to turn “I wish” into “I can” for kids and young adults who know what it’s like  to be a Square Peg.

Question: “If I donate to Square Peg, where does the money go? Answer – here

 

We speak about tribe a lot.  As homo sapiens, we live best in community groups of 12 to 30 people.

When a new family arrives at the ranch, we usually see a family isolated, lonely, and frustrated.  Barraged with advice and declarations of how to “fix” their special needs child, they get advice from everywhere. The grocery store (“if you were just more strict with him”) and from well meaning relatives (“have you thought about military school?”). Even therapists, specialists, and teachers chime in with opinions.

What kind of a world would we occupy if these families could just be?  What if there was a place to celebrate being family, to feel encouraged, and to offer support? A meal eaten with other families while children played nearby.  Sound Utopian?

Most definitely not.

When we gather our magical family camps atop the ridge at Square Peg, we create tribe.  We eat together, play together, and tell stories together.  We sit at the water’s edge, let our guards down, and rely on each other.  Every single time, these tribal gatherings create something amazing.

Several weeks ago, another tribe invited me to screen a film entitled “Horse Boy” and to lecture on the Horse Boy Method, Rupert Isaacson’s technique for working with autism.  You should know that I will talk to anyone who offers me a microphone or a soapbox (or both).  So what did I do?  I packed up the film and some brochures and headed out knowing only that I would speak to a group of Chinese parents at a church in Saratoga.

When we arrived, several young adults with special needs were milling about.  It took them a minute (maybe less) to look me in the eye and call me “auntie.”  I felt at home.  I provided a brief introduction, dimmed the lights, rolled the film, and took a seat in the back while parents trickled in.  All too soon, the time was up and parents rushed out the back door to take their children out of class. Our host approached us with an honorarium, a plaque, and an invitation to join the group for dinner.

We accepted all three.

In the cafeteria across the courtyard from the church sanctuary, all of the families gathered together for a community cooked meal.  The food was simple and delicious and was served on brown McDonald’s trays.  Kids ran, played, and ate while banging on instruments and dancing.  Announcements were made, birthdays acknowledged, dish-washing assignments made, and plans formalized for the next meeting.

We learned that the group started in Fremont in the 90’s and now boasts several hundred families.  This Saratoga group is the original group’s first satellite and is growing quickly. As dinner wound down and the tables put away, groups formed—groups for mothers, for older kids, for fathers, and more.

I was astounded to the soles of my dusty boots.

Some of us perceive Chinese culture to be punishing toward special needs families.  Shame often isolates these families even more so than in the US.  How did this group engage the best of Chinese culture to form a community of caring, celebration, and tribe?  A tribe that clearly responds to the needs of each member.  Here’s my real question—why aren’t we all doing this?  Why is this special?  Celebrating family with food and music, song and dance, art and support, is surely the best of who we can be. It happens every other Saturday in a cozy little church in Saratoga.

I’m honored to be part of this community.

Let’s start more tribes.  Let’s honor the family and create communities to break the spell of isolation. Help Square Peg be that blessed space for families to celebrate tribe.  Parent groups come and go.  Groups where moms can “get away” are terrific but I’ve seen power struggles and overworked organizers cause most to crumble.  What about groups that include the whole family—siblings and fathers—and offer something for everyone as well as celebrate community all while not trying to fix something?

I’ve lived it, I’ve seen it, and I’m here to tell you it’s very, very good.

 Our latest training project is a lazy horse. She’s very intelligent and she makes me think. But I’m not used to lazy.  I like Thoroughbreds.  They are sensitive and they love to please.  Like me, they are in constant movement and they like to be around happy others.  They get over things quickly.  This young mare is a mystery to me.  I have to constantly  re-think how I might change her perception of what I want and what is expected of her.  It’s her nature to be quiet and wait for her next meal and she’s willing to turn her butt to you and kick you out of her stall if you mess with that expectation.  She’s not mean, she just isn’t motivated to please you and engage in a lively and prolonged discussion about he wonders of a two stride in-and-out jump combination or the thrill of a three hour hilly trail ride.

All horsemen know, whether instinctively or expressly that training boils down to a simple equation: stress motivates and release teaches.  Repetition will reinforce, but the training is simple.  Not easy, but simple.  Make it easy for the horse to do the right thing and he will do it every time. But the real struggle I have with this mare is how do I change her notion that going out under saddle isn’t drudgery it’s partnership?  Somehow I need to affect her personal outlook on life.

Last night, I attended a lecture at the Menlo Park bookstore Kepler’s.  The lecture was given by one of my personal heroes and I’m lucky enough in life to also call her a friend.  She’s a pioneer in global issues of women’s health.  She’s traveled the world to meet with women in war-torn countries, natural disaster recovery and places of untold poverty and disease to help change the way women see themselves so that they become educated and empowered to the benefit of their entire community.  Yeah, she’s bad-ass, no way around it. Here’s the link to her latest book: From Outrage to Courage.  

In the Q&A portion of the evening, people asked questions about where hope is to be found and where change is most needed and where it’s really getting traction.  We talked about sub-Saharan Africa, about inner city India,  rural South America and more.  Despite some awful statistics, Anne was hopeful and excited by the ideas and actions of young people using technology and energy to make important and lasting change.  I raised my hand and told my story about the outreach we do for  a group serving women right here in San Francisco.  These women were still children and they had been involved in the sex trade.  They had already served time in correctional facilities.  I told the story of how these children committed savage acts of violence on each other in the 60 hours we spent together.  I wanted to know how we focus on the culture issues we face in our own backyards of women (children) who believe that violence is a normal part of daily life?

My friend the wise teacher sighed.  She looked me in the eye and acknowledged that what I said was indeed true.  Her daughter chimed in and told of her mentoring experiences where she was floored by the amount of violence that was part of the daily makeup of the lives of local poor girls.

After the lecture, we gathered with a gaggle of people to have a glass of wine and enjoy a warm fall evening outside the cafe next to the bookstore.  We talked about teenagers, we talked about food and books.  When I went to leave, my friend grabbed my by the elbow and said “your story left me speechless Joell.  I don’t know what to say.  But you know, you don’t have to take this on.”  We promised to meet up for a cup of tea next month and discuss things further. I hugged her and thanked her and headed out for my hour long drive home.  My whole body ached.  It ached because somehow, I do have to take this on.  I know that we can’t right all the wrongs in the world.   I know we are just one tiny underfunded organization and that my culture is so vastly different from the girls around that campfire and that they see me as foreign and “outside.”  We just need a plan, a vision of how start to make change in how these girls see themselves of what is possible and what is so desperately destructive.  We need to help them feel or be safer so that they don’t react as if they had rabies and subscribe to a “kill or be killed” mentality.

As I worked with my young horse this morning, I reminded myself “stress motivates, release teaches.”

       Release. When the stressor is removed or resolved, or when it just stops.  That’s when change happens.  So maybe, just maybe my crazy notion to take these girls into the beautiful coastal hills with good food and fresh air and silly dogs and go playing on the beach and riding horses to see ocean views isn’t that crazy afterall.  When we took these girls to the beach surfing, the girls from the local surf club served them, and then we were joined by the girls from the junior life guards and then word got out to the local women’s surfers and I looked into the water and there were 30 girls and women serving these four girls from the city.  That night around the campfire, our teenage volunteers took the girls on a night hike to visit the horses. For a short while, they were all just girls on an adventure. There was magic. Everyone was celebrating life and there was laughter and movement and fun.  My heart was filled with hope and pride in my community and in the power of women to make change.

Maybe that release, that kindness, that space to breathe and think and be safe – maybe that’s all there is and maybe what we’ve got to offer is

actually enough.

 

“Once upon a time, when women were birds, there was the simple understanding that to sing at dawn and to sing at dusk was to heal the world through joy. The birds still remember what we have forgotten, that the world is meant to be celebrated.” Terry Tempest Williams