Six days a week, in all four seasons I’ve been in the arena teaching. And I have loved (almost) every minute of it. I felt like I had to teach in order to be fulfilled.
So when I came home from four days in Mexico, I was worried in that I didn’t have the urge, the need, the compulsion to teach. I spent a few days in fear that I had reached burnout. I rationalized that I had not taken more than a few days off in the last few years. I told myself that I would get over this feeling. I lost a lot of sleep and then struggled to get to the barn. I reasoned that it was seasonal and that it’s hard to motivate yourself to teach in the cold and the mud.
But then it dawned on me. For once, I have teachers that I can trust with my students. I have never felt before like I could put my students in anyone else’s hands. Maybe it’s narcissistic, most likely I’m a complete control freak. Don’t panic, I will still be in and around the arena. I’m not retiring. But I know that my role as Executive Director is to create sustainability for Square Pegs and that means doing the work that keeps the program running.
The main thing is that I am growing because I have finally found excellent people who understand and value what Square Pegs is all about. I’m honestly finding joy in watching Greg and Sigourney blossom as mentors and teachers. I love helping Terri and the student teachers like Farris and Max. I’m learning from them how to value the students and to gracefully give people the space to learn. I am so very excited to watch these talented young teachers share their love of horses with their students. They make me very proud to know them.
Goodness, did I just write “their students?” I must be growing. Square Pegs, is growing.
2009 is going to be a very exciting year.