Author: joell

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My Dog Ate Your Donation Check

A friend with special needs daughters wrote on her Facebook page: “Had every intention of making Chicken Picatta and risotto for dinner. Meeting ran late. Got home to find a bird in the house. Opened door for bird, dog ran out. Pizza it was.”

I replied: “Pizza happens.”

In fact, life happens.  It happens all the time.  Especially when you think that you have it figured out and planned and it’s all going to be okay.  And then life happens and shakes everything up. And sometimes that shakeup is the last thing you need and the best thing ever all at the same time.

Life happened to me this week.  I was derailed from what felt like a fairly smooth sailing ship.  I have fantastic instructors who are capable and talented and motivated. I have volunteers who show up when they said they will. My desk is closer to under control than I can ever remember it.  Our online lesson and volunteer system  is being used by folks to seriously streamline operations. My email inbox is down to less than 70 emails (from a usual 120 or so).  I have parts and pieces of grant applications that will fold together neatly so that I could ship a record number of grant requests off in the next 90 days.  Our major fundraising event has been postponed so that we could all work as a team to pull off something special without the round the clock panic that fundraising events tend to engage.

And then.

A new friend walks in.   A friend that’s high profile work validates the uphill battles we have waged over the last eight years. A friend with similar ideas and parallels in philosophy, horsemanship, sense of humor and energy.  His work is just different enough from ours to give him perspective to see strengths where I thought we needed work and to find holes in things we were sure were completely sound. We began with a pact to be kind to one another, no matter what then we start swap stories and inspirations. And ideas start to fly.  Notions I thought I had managed were challenged head-on and I had harder questions to answer than “when is the next board meeting.” I was asked point blank:

  • “How do you create an environment that is in better service to your kids and your horses?”
  • “What are YOUR dreams?
  • “What do you see yourself doing next year and what are you doing this week to attain that?”
  • “No, not your dreams for Square Peg, for your staff and volunteers, what are YOUR dreams?”
  • “Not your nightmares, your dreams!”

All the while, as my eye is drawn off the ball of the day to day running of Square Peg, shit starts hitting the proverbial fan.  Staff needs support and leadership, animals need tending to, calls, emails and texts get pushed aside and weather and mud and bills roll in.  Two years ago I would have panicked.  I would have chucked off the new ideas and the time and space to dream our way into the ever changing future.  Instead, I breathed and smiled and rejoiced in how good collaboration creates true synergy.  Instead of trying to fix that which is simply the nature of growth, I stepped back and watched growing (however painful) happen. I put trust in the abilities of others and I was hopeful, but also prepared to be wrong.

In the middle of all of this, a wonderful supporter handed me a generous check.  I stuffed it in my pocket with a couple of food

Be kind to one another - no matter what (even the dog that ate the donation check).

wrappers that I’d acquired as I ran hither and yon to fulfill an insane schedule.  And early this morning, I found my dog eating the wrappers and the check through a hole he’d made in the pocket of the clothes that I’d left on the floor as I’d slipped into bed exhausted the night before.

Even a year ago, I would have cried and implored the gods to explain to me why they kept testing me with such fervor.  Today, as I crawled out of bed at 3:30am on the crazy journey that is my life, I giggled about the phone conversation I am bound to have today with this amazing donor to explain that the dog really did eat the donation check and I will have to ask her as politely and delicately as I can to write me another check.

In short, I ordered pizza, and it was good.

 

 

 

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How Do You Mix Classical Dressage, Neuroscience and Fart Humor to Reach Kids on the Autism Spectrum?

It’s simple if you ask Rupert Issaacson originator of the Horse Boy phenomenon – “you just let the children take you on an adventure.”

Rupert and Rowan Isaacson

Rupert, with his rockstar hair and his Hollywood smile and upper caste British accent throughly delights with a boyish grin and self described “potty mouth.” He held rapt a group of eight certifiers (including me, the original skeptic) and an additional 20 auditors at the bizarre moonscape that is the Shalom Institute, tucked in the back of the Malibu Hills. He reminded us that we aren’t teaching anything to an autistic child, we are drawing him gently out of the shell that is autism into our world and hoping that, through the horse, he might give us a glimpse into his world as well.

The Issacson’s family story was one I’d heard time and again; a bright and adventurous couple has a child, they know something is wrong early on but when the diagnosis of autism was handed to them when their beautiful son Rowan was four years old, the resulting anger and shame and frustration almost cost them their sanity and their marriage. They did all the right things with therapies and diets and they struggled through each day with tantrums, potty training nightmares and the knowledge that their son was becoming increasingly more remote and more miserable.

I’ll not ruin the story of how Rowan connected his father back to the horses he loved and his mother a PhD Psychologist to her life’s work in teaching “Self Compassion.”  Just treat yourself and either read the book or see the film.  Even if you aren’t interested in autism studies or even in horses, the story has all the elements to delight and entertain.  If you manage to be inspired and informed, well so much the better.

Issaacson has since started the New Trails Center helping scores of children and their families find hope and peace and laughter together.

Now for the honesty part of the post.  I went to this seminar not just skeptical, but defensive.  I didn’t appreciate the fact that I’d seen too many photos and films of children that Issacson has worked with riding without helmets.  I’m an adamant helmet advocate for adults and I’m next to rabid about them for children.  If you wear a seatbelt while driving, why wouldn’t you wear a helmet when riding?  I don’t like wearing a helmet, but I do because I need to model the behaviors I need our kids and our volunteers to display.  And I was prepared to piss off a room full of new age-ish do gooders to make my point that could and does save lives.

I’m still a helmet advocate, that hasn’t changed.  And yes, I do understand that a helmet can be a sensory nightmare for an autistic child.

But where Rupert was going was so much more important than headgear.

Here’s what got me:

“Remember, you aren’t teaching ANYTHING, you aren’t teaching horsemanship, or riding.  You aren’t a therapist and you aren’t going to ‘fix’ an autistic person.  You are there to draw out communication and help a child with transitions.  The horse will carry him out of his world into the natural and social world.  That’s it.”  We spent the next 18 hours over two days going over exercises, demonstrations and discussions about how to fold in academics, physicality and compassion into our interactions with autistic children and their families.

Finally!!!! Validation from someone, with enough skin in the game – he’s the father of an autistic child and he’s married to a PhD Psychology professor – isn’t talking about cures, he isn’t  some theory-laden pedagague that reduces a child to his diagnosis.  And get this – he does it with fun and silliness and irreverence and adds to that some damn fine classical horsemanship.

I can’t wait to get home and share with my staff and key volunteers and my horses what I’ve learned and re-learned this past weekend.  I’m even more convinced that we can love and laugh our way to connect these children to their families and their communities on the backs of our beloved horses.

I could write so much more about the people I met and the things we learned together, but I’m hopping back in the car to get home to my staff and critters so that we can get to work with our new tools in the kit for turning “I wish” into “I can!”

UPDATE: Square Peg is teaming up with Rupert Isaacson and the Horse Boy Method to present a equine related demonstration at the Abilities Expo at the San Jose McEnrey Convention Center November 18th, 19th and 20th.  Admission is free – c’mon out!

 

 

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Old Friends – New Friends

The NTRA announced that this year’s education seminar at Keenland would be even bigger and better than the inaugural event last year. This year, the seminar would include the chance to tour and have a Kentucky style barbecue at Old Friends Farm.

Old Friends is unique. Old Friends gives sanctuary to famous and not so famous racehorses and then dedicates itself to educating the public about the contributions and the needs of ex race horses. And they do it really, really well.

I needed a break – I needed to re-connect with people and a place that honored and revered the Thoroughbred horse – that valued their lives and their ability. I needed to learn more about best practices for biosecurity for our barn, about new vaccines and worming strategies and feed and care. I needed encouragement and advice about fundraising. As we know, time and funds are finite and precious at a small non profit. But I had learned so much at last year’s event and I longed to tour and meet the amazing people and critters at Old Friends. So off I went on the red-eye, flew all night and stumbled into the hallowed ground of the Keenland sales pavilion, a little rumpled, but fueled by excitement, curiosity and some high octane coffee.

As with last year, I got so much more than I bargained for.

Most importantly, I made new friends.

Like Barbara Fossum, who was my personal chauffer and tour guide. Her passion for racing and her love for the horses brightened the very air around her. I hope the NTRA knows how lucky they are to have such a dedicated and knowledgeable ambassador for the sport.

Steuart Pittman and I bonded over a mutual friend and a love of thoroughbreds as athletes. Steuart renewed my faith that professionals still crave to ride a swift and nimble horse.

Bright-eyed and quick witted Penelope Miller and I recognized a fellow foxhunter from across the sparkling coffee urn. Her intelligence and wit will help bring racing into the digital age. I hope she comes to experience the thrill of west coast Red Rock hunting soon.

Last but not least is my kindred spirit – Susanna Thomas of the Secretariat Center. Susana with her stubborn boots planted firmly in the bluegrass and her smile pointed toward the barn and her sharp and curious mind floating somewhere above, always thinking, always turning a new idea around. Her generosity, her spirit her staff and her energy are now firmly connected to Square Peg all the way across this vast country.

There were more of course.  People dedicated to the aftercare of the Thoroughbred horse.  Trainers, grants makers, lawyers, owners, veterinarians and scientists.  I’m inspired and energized and proud to be part of a community that is making progress and changing perceptions.

I’ll follow this post when I have a minute with stories of the tour of Old Friends.  Because the farm and the amazing horses and people that make it home deserve their very own post.

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Learn to Play Polo! A Two Day Clinic focus on youth in polo October 22 and 23

horsemanship + teamwork + sportsmanship = POLO!

The Polo Training Foundation, the Horse Park Polo Club and the Stanford Polo Club are all committed to helping Square Peg for the fourth year running, to produce our most successful polo clinic ever.

After years of working with the United States Pony Club, the Polo Association has succeeded in convincing the Pony Clubs that the sport of polo teaches horsemanship skills and engenders teamwork and good sportsmanship.

This year’s clinic will focus on bringing youth into polo.  We will be teaching YOU and YOUR horse the game!

Square Peg Foundation has teamed up with the Horse Park Polo Club and the Polo Training Foundation to bring you an opportunity that can’t be missed!

Clinic Includes

  • Professional instruction from Wilbur O’Ferrall of the Polo Training Foundation. Read Wilbur’s bio here.

•  Introducing you and your horse to the game, the mallet and the rules.

• “Chalk Talk” discussion on rules, penalties and strategies of the game.

  • Time in the HPPC Hitting Cage to learn how to manage the mallet and get the most out of your swing.

  • The opportunity to watch the Stanford Polo Club practice.  Meet the players!
  • Mallets and balls

“Playing polo is like trying to play golf during an earthquake” Sylvester Stallone, 1990

• a sense of humor and eagerness to learn!

  • helmet and eye protection for you
  • leg protection for your horse
  • an English Style saddle

Saturday’s classes will be split into  groups of similar experience and ability

Sunday we will make teams and have matches

"Since I started to play polo, I have had my most successful year in eventing." Fiona Graham, "A Level" Pony Clubber

WHEN: October, 22 and 23, 2011

WHERE: THE HORSE PARK POLO CLUB ARENA

3674 SAND HILL RAOD, WOODSIDE CALIFORNIA

KIDS ( AGE 10 AND OLDER) AND ADULTS ARE BOTH WELCOME

REGISTER HERE:


 

“I want to congratulate Square Peg Foundation for under taking the project of putting on a Learn to Play Polo Clinic – It is through efforts such as this that the Polo Training Foundation (PTF), United States Polo Assoc. (USPA) and United States Pony Club (USPC) can work together to promote the Sport of Polo to local equestrian youth.  For the first time Polo is a recognized activity for Pony Clubs.  USPA has created a club membership for Pony Clubs to become part of the USPA Intercollegiate/Interscholastic program.  This allows young polo players from fifth grade to high school seniors to compete both regionally and nationally in the sport of Polo.  Many of the Interscholastic players continue their polo experience by attending Colleges that have Intercollegiate Polo Programs.”

Russ Sheldon, Co-Chair USPA Intercollegiate/Interscholastic Committee

USPA Governor at Large


 

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More Gifts: What I learned this summer – guest blogger, Rachel Bisaillon

Three hours. That’s it. No more. No less. In just three hours, I learned more about myself than I have this entire summer.

Last Tuesday night at polo, Joell said she  really needed our help the next day because a group of girls were coming to the barn to learn about horses and ride a little.

 

photo by Paul Van Allen

My first thought was “No biggie, people come to the barn all the time. We give a tour, teach them some horse stuff, and then they can ride a little. We have done it before, tomorrow will be no different.”

That morning on our way to the barn I asked my mom to stop at Starbucks. She answered  “No, if we stop, we will be late.” I was not content with that response, but I figured I was lucky to be going to the barn at all.

We had camp in the morning, ate lunch, and finished the rest of the chores. We were in the middle of a spur-of-the-moment jumping lesson when two vans pulled into the ranch. One of our best volunteers went to meet them, while we finished up in the ring. Once we finished cooling out our horses, we headed up the hill, where we were met by five teenage girls, scrambling to put on boots & helmets. We stopped to introduce ourselves and our horses, whom they were delighted to meet. We taught the girls how to groom, tack up, and lead their horses down to the arena. I was the “walker” for Bert, one of our largest, but best, school horses. The girl who chose  Bert was a little tentative at first, but eased up after she got a feel for his easy-going personality. We chatted about the barn and how I got involved with Square Peg, and I taught her the basic mechanics of riding. Then, it came time to trot. Coming from someone who used to ride Bert a lot, his trot is definitely the bounciest out of all our horses, which means trotting without knowing how to post is actually pretty uncomfortable. He began to trot and instantly her entire face lit up, and she started laughing and giggling, just like a little kid. It was her first time riding, but she seemed totally at ease trotting circles and watching all of her friends trot around. It’s hard to explain, but she just had this look of absolute contentment, like she wasn’t thinking about anything else, just focusing on this moment.

After untacking and grooming, we all sat around chatting and eating snacks until the counselors said that they needed to get going so they wouldn’t hit traffic. They gave us hugs and every last one of them left with a huge smile on their face.

 

Rachel and Beetle

Would you believe me if I told you that every single one of those girls has had a traumatic, unbearable, and disturbing childhood? So bad that you cannot even begin to imagine how they got managed to endure it? Yeah, me neither. Would you believe me if I said that they all have been abused and now live in a group home together? Again, me neither.  I knew about their situations before they came, and I was expecting a shy, docile, reserved group of girls. Boy was I wrong. These girls were so friendly, excited, and open, I was shocked. After the day, Joell, Farris and I were discussing how the day went, and we were all moved by the group.

It truly made me think; this morning I was so mad that my mom wouldn’t let me stop at Starbucks, and here these girls are, with such a harsh and dreadful past behind them and a tough road ahead of them, and here I am, complaining about getting a $5 frappuccino. This summer I have been so grateful that I have been able to go to the barn every single day, but that day really opened my eyes to what else I have, and how much I really have to be grateful for. A five minute trot session made this girl so unbelievable happy, and here I am, taking hours and hours of trotting for granted. After hearing and learning about these girls’ situations, I definitely feel more grateful for everything that I have; a family that I can count on and that support me, friends that I can see whenever I want, an education that will carry me through life, and opportunities that will mold me into who I turn out to be.

I don’t think these girls understand that in just a few hours, we may have impacted them, but they impacted us as well. I truly thank them for opening my eyes and helping me to learn to be a little more grateful. I am really glad that we were able to make the day possible, because that’s what Square Peg is all about, changing lives, one person at a time.

 

 

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Gifts

I am the friend who will forget your birthday. I hate Christmas shopping. I  forget my own wedding anniversary.  Thankfully, I married a man with a sense of humor and the same  off-kilter understanding of sentiment and ceremony.  So in the traditional sense of gift giving I am an almost total failure.

However, I have learned to be a gracious receiver of gifts. Running a non profit will do that even to the most reluctant gift exchanger such as myself.

And you don’t know where the gifts are coming from and you can’t know how powerful they will be.

And then you learn to share the gifts. You learn to pass them on and pay them forward.

And it’s beautiful.

Today’s gift is a poem.  It came wrapped in a ribbon with a letter about the person who wrote the poem and how that poem saved the sanity of the receiver who paid it forward to us. The poem’s author, as I understand it,didn’t survive. Her life was short and hard and unfair. The gift she left behind is a gift of humanity in a dose not easy to swallow.

I’m paying this forward to everyone who knows what it’s like to be a Square Peg, to feel like a Square Peg, to be raising or loving a Square Peg.  But mostly it’s a tribute to our instructors who know grace and who dare to know that love has nothing to do with pity.

Lesser Than
There is no higher than a lesser than.
for to become a better than,
you forget
the grace it takes
to have been a lesser than.

Anonymous 2007

Pay it forward.

 

 

 

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A favor to ask

As you know, we at Square Peg are always looking to improve the quality of life for the horses here.  We have come across a product that really engages the horses and makes for a more healthy eating style as well as to dissuade them from some dangerous and destructive habits like wood chewing and cribbing.

 

The Amazing Graze Horse Feeder keeps the horses eating small amounts of food, around the clock.  As the horses are getting older, this is a much healthier way to feed some of our more finicky horses.

The Amazing Graze Horse Feeder

 

Would you be interested in purchasing a grazer for a particular Square Peg horse?  If so, please contact us at info@squarepegfoundation.org and let us know which horse’s grazer you would like to sponsor.

 

The horses who would most benefit are:

 

 

 

Thank you in advance,

the crew at Square Peg

 

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Negative Value?

For the horses, it must have seemed  like hell week.  For as long as they could remember, they lounged in green pastures with safe fencing and quality feed brought twice a day.  They each had a paddock to themselves and they knew their neighbors. They grew fine and strong in keeping with their royal pedigrees. 

When their neighbors started disappearing, there were a few minutes of panic, but then the food appeared again and the late summer rains kept the paddocks green and nutritious.  And so they lounged and they ate in peace.

A trickle of unknown people came to visit them in their pasture.  They were unaccustomed to much human contact, just the occasional farrier visits to trim their feet – which of late had become even more rare, and the twice annual vaccinations that stung like a small bee sting and then were forgotten. The people were kind and curious and inspected the horses from different angles.  Photos were taken and then the people left.

One day, halters were put on and left on.  The horses were taken from their lush paddocks and put into airy and clean concrete stalls with straw beds.  Twice a day humans came in the stall and systematically touched them, petted them, they put their hands in places that had never been touched.  The humans were firm but fair and they never stayed long.

One day, a group of humans came in the stall, the familiar bee sting clipped their throats and then things went fuzzy.  When they awoke, there was a dull, consistent thudding ache under their bellies.  They moped and recovered their appetites.  They napped in the straw and wondered what all of the comings and goings outside their stall were.

A week later, they were coaxed out of their stalls into a wobbly trailer.  They’d either never been in a trailer, or they had forgotten the feeling.  Life was indeed strange and scary as they careened down the California freeways into a climate just a bit hotter and drier than any they had ever known.

In a matter of hours, they are charging around a sand arena together in the central valley sunshine with a shaggy dog and some chickens trailing behind.  The ranch owner and his wife are filling a tub of water for them hoping that they will be relaxed enough to go into the  “general population” irrigated field and then begin their training as saddle horses.

What the horses didn’t know, is how close they were to a trailer ride to the killer auction.  In today’s economy, these horses had negative value.  By a miracle of serendipity and a Herculean team effort, they have been given a chance at a life as saddle and performance horses.

Negative value? These horses were bred to run among the elite of west coast racing.  Both have parentage traced back to the greats of the breed; Nasrullah, Bold Ruler and Seattle Slew.  But they were abandoned by an owner either no longer interested in their lives or simply financially unable or unwilling to continue to pay for their care.  The farm owner fed them from his own pocket, the new owners of the farm had the grace to let them stay at his farm while they recovered from castration surgery.  A philanthropic angel agreed to pay for the surgery and a team of three veterinarians made the surgeries a priority. A fine horseman of the old school agreed to take them, provided that the castration and the transportation were included  He required no registration papers, just their vaccination history to show that they were protected against virus’ that could affect his healthy herd.

People new to the rescue world talk about the thrill of the rescue.  For the 350 mile round trip I made yesterday with two un-broke, freshly castrated Thoroughbred colts in the trailer, I bounced back and forth between regret that I don’t even remember what that rush may feel like and the satisfaction of knowing that I’d orchestrated a team to give two souls a chance at life.  I also had a good dose of wondering how I’d pay the bills for our in-house herd of previously homeless critters while I took a day off from the ranch especially after filling the diesel fuel tank twice in a day.

While the work might be unglamorous, it puts me in cahoots with the vet that I most I most respect in the world, racehorse owners and ranch managers who truly care about the animals and great horsemen of the best old school.  Along for the entire ride was a special teenager  who was learning what people will do for horses, not to be heroes, but simply because it’s the right thing to do.

Unbroke, un-castrated and sans papers, these are the kinds of horses that are the most difficult to place and yet, through networks and teamwork, it’s exactly what we did.

Thank you to all who participated, from the bottom of my heart.

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Growing…

Our scheduling system is now fully automated!  Check it out!

Last Tuesday afternoon, rain (in May?!?!) forced me to my desk to catch up on scheduling; scheduling we’ve done manually for six years, I might add. But this time, it was different.  I knew our custom scheduling system would go live later this week and I saw an unfamiliar light at the end of this tunnel. I looked at the bright orange post-it notes strewn about my monitor with notes like: “reschedule XXXX for 3:30 on Thursday” and “No IIII for this Tuesday, reschedule for Wednesday of next week” and thought: “Soon this will be off my plate.”

My monitor has a fun screen saver that randomly displays a word and its meaning.  ABDICATE had just flashed by, which I felt particularly prescient, and then the usual chimes rang that indicated an email had just come in. I shook my mouse to wake up the monitor. I was cc’d on a confirmation to one of my students:

“You are confirmed for Summer Camp on June 6th in the afternoon…

What?? I thought? How can this magic be? Right away, an email came in from our developer: “Are you testing the system Joell?”

“Not me. Was that you?”

“Nuh-uh” the developer wrote back.

We both did some scrambling and checking and within minutes we both knew that one of our families had gone to the SquarePeg site and logged in, registered, confirmed and paid for summer camp.

“It’s happening!” I wrote to the developer.

This developer has been a friend of Square Peg since day one.  She sat on the floor  of our San Francisco apartment organizing and taking notes eight years ago as we dreamed up this thing we now know as Square Peg.  This developer has watched and advised, laughed and cried with us every step of the way.  So it was a moment savored in every layer of it’s deliciousness.

Room to grow.  Less time for me in the office trying to return calls, texts, emails and Facebook postings about when we might be available for lessons and less waiting for our families for me to get back to them.

Technology at it’s best enables us to spend more time together, doing what we do.

So do log in to the new system, browse around, book a lesson (or four) and know that while you are doing that, we are out turning “I wish” into “I can.”

By the way, Square Peg will be CLOSED on Saturday, May 28 because:

Our dear Sigourney Jellins will be competing her horses Maggie and Theo at the Spring Horse Trials at the HorsePark at Woodside – coached by our own Rainey Sealey

– and Farris Scott and I will be competing on Hank, Kir and Beetle at the WCT Ladies Invitational Polo Tournament at the Menlo Circus Club – coached by Greg Crosta.

We would love for you to come by either competition and cheer us on!