Author: joell

Square Peg has changed my whole outlook on myself, the world, and the people around me.

At age seven I didn’t think I was anything special; I had average grades and I never thought I was an outgoing person. I thought I’d lead an average life…. Then my mom introduced me to the Square Peg Foundation, a barn where kids and horses learn to be themselves and love life. Square Peg is more than just a barn, it is a lifestyle. For some families, it can even be called a second home. It becomes a safe and loving place to run away from all the crazy madness this world brings, a place free from judgement and full of opportunity. The horses and people love you for who you are–not what you look like.

After riding for three years I experienced a bad fall. My trainer was teaching me on a lunge-line how to canter, and suddenly a tractor came whirring down a hill. The horse I was riding spooked and high-tailed it straight back to the barn, dumping me onto the gravelled ground. Rocks filled my mouth and brutally dug into my back. No matter how much anyone comforted me, I was convinced I never wanted to canter again. That fall changed my life, and for two years afterwards my trainer remarkably respected and accepted my decision to avoid the canter, allowing me to have a break.

My trainer paired me with Django who I began to ride consistently. I never imagined that Django would allow me to overcome my fear and achieve what I thought was impossible: cantering, jumping, learning to lunge, trail rides, and–best of all–acceptance. Over the next four years we made wonderful memories together until he left for a new home to spend his retirement. Django changed my life and brought me to the conclusion that anything is possible; you just have to believe in yourself to make it happen.

Over the next few months four new horses arrived from the racetrack. Curtis, Finn, Ace, and Owen filled up the barn with all sorts of

personality and injuries. Often, horses that become injured or perform poorly at the track don’t find a useful, loving, or purposeful life afterwards. The horses at Square Peg are all given a second chance. Thanks to the amazing staff, each horse’s personality and strengths are discovered, and are then encouraged to make that horse shine. The horse can then help create a calm, relaxed, safe, and fun place for the trainers to teach and kids to learn.

Everyone should get the opportunity to feel accepted, special, confident, calm, safe, and joyful, and Square Peg is the place that makes that happen. I volunteer countless hours over weekends and during school breaks to help out around the barn and I never regret a minute of it. Each day brings new smiles and adventures. I am grateful to the Square Peg family for helping me lead a very un-average and awesome life!

The Kunze Family Challenge has bet met AND EXTENDED!  Another family has stepped in to create a Second Challenge. Anything you donate by the end of the year will be matched up to $10,000. Your support is CRITICAL to Square Peg.  Thank you ;-)
 
 
 

Stephanie Ashe  wrote today's essay - we are very grateful that she evesdrops ;-)

During this season of gratitude, my family and I always take the time to talk about the people and things for which we are grateful.  This year, at the top of my list is eavesdropping.

Now, I don’t make a habit of eavesdropping.  Or, more accurately, I don’t make a habit of letting people know that I’m eavesdropping.  That changed a few months ago at Peet’s in Half Moon Bay. 

I was having a tough morning. My 11-year-old daughter, Gilly, has anxiety.  Not the run-of-the-mill, butterflies in the stomach, average nervousness kind of anxiety.  Gilly has clinically diagnosed, overwhelming, mind-numbing anxiety.  We have battled this anxiety for years with therapy and tutoring to help her keep up in school.  But, over the past several months, Gilly’s anxiety has increased and prevented her from going to school.  She has been in the hospital, gone through intensive therapy and has been moved to a few different schools as we tried to find the right fit.  Sadly, due to her anxiety, Gilly also stopped doing many of the activities that she enjoyed the most, including riding horses, something that she has loved since she was five.

That morning at Peet’s, I was holding my breath.  Gilly had just started a new, small and very hands-on school and I was nervously trying to get some work done at the local Peet’s.

I happened to sit next to Joell Dunlap, who was in the middle of talking to someone about her ranch, Square Peg. As I tried to write emails, I kept getting pulled into listening to Joell talk about her foundation that takes therapy riding to another level.  Joell’s enthusiasm for her work with special needs children, her description of her “castaway” horses who need the kids as much as the kids need them, and the intense passion with which she talked about the supportive, peaceful and calm environment where kids and horses thrive, was too tempting for me to keep quiet. 

I interrupted Joell and her friend, mid-conversation, and asked if this place could possibly be real. I think Joell could sense the desperation in my voice and she very kindly spent the next 20 minutes talking to me about Square Peg, listening to my worries about Gilly and encouraging me to visit the ranch.

For our first visit to Square Peg, Gilly and I planned to observe for an hour, at the most.  Gilly was nervous and made me promise that we would leave the minute she started to feel uncomfortable. We stayed  five hours. 

We met each horse, groomed several, cleaned out a few stalls, met and fed the goats, pet the dogs and got to know the wonderful Square Peg instructors.  And, under Joell’s kind tutelage, Gilly tacked up and rode Roxie, Square Peg’s trusty pony.

Needless to say, Gilly and I have spent a lot of time at Square Peg since our first visit.  We have gotten to know Rachel and Becca, two of the kindest and smartest “horse girls” I have ever met. Gilly has lessons with Rachel and Becca, she often helps at the ranch, and the instructors have endless patience with all of my horse personality and anatomy questions. We can’t seem to get enough of the place!

Beyond riding, Rachel goes out of her way to check in on Gilly to see how she is doing after riding, with school, etc. Rachel has found yoga classes for us, told us where to get the best milkshakes on the coast and has even given Gilly some of her old riding equipment.

Rachel and Joell have also introduced me to other parents who have children with special needs.  Their stories, understanding and encouragement have been a big help to me during this time.

Gilly is doing so well. She likes her new school and gets so much comfort and support at Square Peg. She is calmer, stronger and sleeps better. I know that we still have a long way to go with helping Gilly work through her anxiety.  But, I have faith that Gilly will forge her way past this tough time and learn how to lead a happy and productive life.  And, I know that Square Peg will be a big part of that effort.

Thank you, Joell, Rachel, Becca, Roxie, Panzur, Ace, Patti, Tucker, Molly, Wasabi and all of the other amazing souls at Square Peg!

Sponsoring a Square Peg horse is the Holiday gift that makes miracles happen every day!  Today's featured horse is Roxy - the pony who brought real smiles to this family.  Below is the monthly breakdown to sponsor Roxy's care: 
Occupancy: $250 (rent, maintenance, insurance)
Staff: $150 (includes care, training, grooming and exercise) 
Feed: $135      
Farrier: $21      
Vet: $52    
Other: $41 (Dentistry, chiropractic, supplies, supplements)
$7,788 annually $649 per month

Today's Gratitude Essay is from our friend Irma Mitton.  The Mitton family recently adopted Square Peg horses Ricky, Rico and Sam.  We are so grateful for our adoptive families.

The Kunze Family has offered up a challenge to raise funds for Square Peg. Every dollar you donate between now and the end of the year will be matched up to $10,000! Your support is a lifeline to our families and the horses who call Square Peg their sanctuary. We are so grateful for your support.

Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.  — Ralph Waldo Emerson

The perfume of horse happiness – grassy, earthy, sweet, unfiltered. Once it gets into your olfactory system, it makes its way permanently into your heart. It becomes part of your bloodstream, and as necessary as oxygen.

This year, Square Peg gifted our family with its own unique formula of horse happiness. We’ve always enjoyed riding in many disciplines and our Pescadero farm served as a happy home for several equine athletes retired by our trainer and friends. This year, the time was right for us to branch out and find a new way to immerse ourselves in horseyness.

Our daughter Laurel began volunteering as a barn girl with Square Peg this June. Three afternoons each week, she came home tired, sweaty, dirty, and with a radiant grin that could outshine a full moon. After cleaning 20 stalls, grooming and tacking up half a dozen horses, she was covered in that unique “perfume” (ahem, cough) of horse happiness.

Her happiness sparked a resurgence of excitement about horses in our entire family. Suddenly, I remembered what it means to be a true horse(wo)man. I found myself again spending hours watching training shows on RFD-TV and re-reading the classics (Tom Dorrance’s True Unity, Mary Wanless’s The Natural Rider, and of course, Alois Podhasky’s Principles of Classical Horsemanship).

We find ourselves spending more time together as a family in our own barn, which is now enhanced with two retired Square Peg horses, Rickie and Sam, as well as Rico, a beautiful young OTTB rehomed through Square Peg as well.  Laurel takes her enhanced confidence and sensitivity, as a rider and as a person, with her wherever she goes, and our son Rob has also begun riding again (thank you, sweet Rickie!).

As we approach the holidays and reflect back on our year, we are immensely grateful for all the Square Peg has bestowed on us this year: exposure to so many different horses, new friendships and connections with strong and compassionate role models, and a stress-free place to hang out, laugh, and BREATHE.

Most importantly, we grateful that our experience with Square Peg reminded us of a very important lesson: regardless of your age, physical condition, or state of mind, time with horses is therapeutic. Horse happiness may smell a little different, but it can heal pretty much anything.

We are more than half way to meeting our $10,00 challenge grant! Every dollar you donate between now and the end of the year will be matched up to $10,000! Your support is a lifeline to our families and the horses who call Square Peg their sanctuary. We are so grateful for your support.

Apropos of today in our post feast feelings - today's perspective is from Robyn Peters whose name you may recognize because she is the photographer credited with most of the amazing images you see on the Square Peg site.

Volunteering:  It’s cheaper than a gym membership

Back in the day, for exercise and fitness, my daughter had a riding lesson every week, and I had a gym membership.  Then she wanted to ride more, and I looked at the budget and thought “so long, gym, it’s been nice to know you”.

But then, as I came out to Square Peg, twice a week, sometimes for several hours or more on the day of her lesson, I realized that I didn’t need that stinky gym membership, after all.

Why run (ok, true confession: I walked) on the treadmill,  smelling the armpit air of the folks around me, when I could be dancing around in the pasture, smelling relatively fresh air while trying to put a halter on a horse who wasn’t done playing yet, while his friends try to stick their noses into my pockets for snacks?

Why lift weights while Top 40 hits blasted at top volume, drowning out my thoughts, when I could sit on the top of a pile of feed and shovel pounds after pounds of cubes into rolling feed dispensers for the horses, while the silence (interrupted by the occasional naughty goat) gave me space to gather and arrange my thoughts?

Why climb endless flights on the Stairmaster, going nowhere while watching myself in the mirror, when I could hike up the hill to the top of the upper pasture and watch the sun set while slipping soft treats to Stitch and Monty, two retired lesson horses who have earned the good life?

Sit ups?  Who needs sit-ups to strengthen the core, when you can sit at the picnic table in the sunshine, and laugh and laugh and laugh at the antics of the crazy goats and hounds?

Square Peg.  It’s more than a farm.  It’s a full body workout.

The Kunze Family has offered up a challenge to raise funds for Square Peg. Every dollar you donate between now and the end of the year will be matched up to $10,000! Your support is a lifeline to our families and the horses who call Square Peg their sanctuary. We are so grateful for your support.

Today is our national day of giving thanks for the abundance in our lives. 
Once again, teen volunteer Tessa Biggs boils things down to the things that really matter.

By Tessa Biggs

As a high school freshman, I exist within the social confines of peer-imposed apathy. If I dare to join a club, engage in a conversation with any depth, or voice a personal passion, I will be ridiculed and shunned. I am surrounded by high schoolers who are either unable or unwilling to reveal the things that matter to them, the things that bring both joy and dedication to their lives – it is, frankly, socially unacceptable to give a $h!*.

But, I am energetic. Scratch that – I am beyond energetic. I am passionate and exuberant and I love being fully engaged. I want to matter, to learn everything I possibly can and strive to make an impact on our world.  

At Square Peg, I can, and I do.  

Almost two years ago, I stumbled into Square Peg as an over-eager Pony Clubber looking to do some good in the world. I didn’t really know what I wanted, but I knew I wanted to be at this barn. Joell happily put me to work and I have loved every minute.

I don’t have to pretend here. It is impossible to be indifferent when the children you spend time with continuously inspire and impassion you. About a year ago, I made a choice. In both my school and my social life, I no longer wanted to pretend to not care. I figured out that time spent detached from my true-self left me empty and bleak. I could not continue this way; So I stopped.

I remember someone in my history class mentioning their work at a soup kitchen for community service credit. Many students found this important work worth making fun of. I laughed, then kindly told the class where to shove it. My volunteer work at Square Peg is one of the most enriching and valuable aspects of my life. I have found a safe place where people praise my individuality, not diminish it. I have found my people, my ‘tribe,’ for whom I will be forever grateful.  

The best part is, I decided to care and no one cared. People respected my choice and liked me just the same – if not more. So all I really want to say is – it’s okay to care – in fact, it’s everything.

The Kunze Family has offered up a challenge to raise funds for Square Peg. Every dollar you donate between now and the end of the year will be matched up to $10,000! Your support is a lifeline to our families and the horses who call Square Peg their sanctuary. We are so grateful for your support.

Today’s story is from rider Davis Finch.  He tells his story of meeting Panzur – and how connecting with a special horse has helped him overcome anxiety and fear.

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In August of last year, I was ready to return to riding after a nasty fall but I needed a new horse to ride. The fall made me realize the horse I was riding was too reactive for me and I no longer felt safe riding her.  The plan was for me to ride Henry, a large Thoroughbred that could support a rider my size. A few days before my first lesson back a 19-year old bay Holsteiner gelding named Panzur arrived at the ranch. The day before my lesson, I was having a bad day and didn’t have much time but Joell was adamant I meet the new horse. I visited him inside his stall, a tight squeeze owing to both of our large figures, and was smitten by his calm demeanor and sense of caring.  Despite being prepared for Henry, after meeting Panzur I knew he was the horse for my return to riding.  The next day I had my first lesson after a horse gave me the scariest moment of my life and it was a success.  His calmness and generosity were the perfect combination to counteract my anxiety.

Since last August I have been riding Panzur weekly and my anxiety level has slowly decreased.  While he is not the easiest horse to ride, he listens to me and we have a strong connection.  My primary motivation to return to riding after my fall was to feel that rhythmic movement of a horse walking. Riding calms my nerves and puts me in good spirits.  I think it is the result of the hormone oxytocin. I am not the only person he has this effect on. Panzur is the go-to horse for anxious riders including adults with eating disorders and kids on the autism spectrum. 

I am grateful to Laura Hansen for giving Square Peg her wonderful horse, Joell for guiding me in my lessons and everything else, and, of course, to Panzur himself for being so kind and giving.  I feel I was destined to work with Panzur the way he showed up just in time for my return to riding.

Sponsoring Panzur makes a special Holiday gift – The gift that keeps sharing joy and second chances for all of the Square Pegs who call the Ranch their community. The staff at Square Peg will work with sponsors to create a special momento if you would like to gift his sponsorship to a loved one.  A framed photo montage, a brass name-plate – The possibilities are fun – the gift is precious.

$9228 annually $769 per month
Monthly Breakdown of Panzur’s care and costs

• Occupancy: $298 (rent, maintenance, insurance – does not include staff)
  Staff: $158 (includes care, training, grooming and exercise)
  Feed: $181      Farrier: $39       Vet: $52      Other: $41 (Dentistry, chiropractic, supplies, supplements)

Adults and children giggle, whisper, point as my teen son happily splashes in the shallow end of the pool. 

At the mall, little children run into him and fall down. Not my son’s fault! But, he gets lambasted by the mothers because he is a big guy who walks away rather than helping the child up. 

He can’t seem to do anything right. 

It’s a cruel, judgemental world. 

He tries so hard. No wonder he is so anxious.

Yet at Square Peg, there is peace. The sun shines, trees sway with a gentle breeze.

There is a calmness that envelopes the ranch. Positive energy emanates from everywhere: the people, the animals, the land. 

Connor gets on a horse and he is transformed. No one looks at him except in awe of his posture, his natural seat, his command of the reins. He doesn’t flap his hands, he rarely vocalizes. He is one with the horse. He is in his heaven. He loves to ride. Walk or trot. Trail or arena. He doesn’t care. Fifteen minutes or an hour. He just needs to be on a horse. 

At Square Peg, Connor has no disability. The world isn’t hard.

My son who struggles to pay attention, especially to people speaking, pays rapt attention to his instructor. He does everything in his power to do exactly as she instructs. But, she is not judging. She is not dictating. She gently leads him. Where would he like to go in the ring? His choice. Would he like to trot or walk?

His choice.

She is teaching him to make choices. To be more independent. To let him know his opinion counts. To have confidence in himself. To be successful on his own terms. 

LaDonna Ford – a Square Peg mom

And, he thinks he is there for the horses. 

The Kunze Family has offered up a challenge to raise funds for Square Peg.  Every dollar you donate between now and the end of the year will be matched up to $10,000!  Your support is a lifeline to families like Connor's and to the horses who call Square Peg their sanctuary.  We are so grateful for your support.

Conner’s dad adds:

“I’ll admit I was skeptical when my wife told me that my son, who is afflicted with autism, was going to learn to ride a horse. I’ve witnessed Connor trying to drive small cars at amusement parks. He didn’t have sufficient concentration to keep the vehicle from hitting the track guards. How was he going to command a 1000 lb animal who has a mind of its own? How could he concentrate well enough to steer this animal or even stay in the saddle?

Learning to ride was a process. But, with a kind, gentle instructor and a like-minded horse, Connor has excelled and rides independently. There is no loss of concentration. He seems to connect with horses. The look of joy when he has the horse trotting is priceless. He can successfully steer the horse; something he cannot do with an inanimate car. And, it makes him and his parents proud. “

Today's perspective is from instructor Rachel Bisaillon.  Rachel started riding at Square Peg at the tender age of nine. She's been a rider, a volunteer, a mentor and now, while juggling college classes - she manages the barn, the volunteers, the ever changing lesson schedule and she teaches.

This is her story of the horse she loves and what he means to the Community at the Ranch:

I was offered my dream opportunity. One of the newest “Square Pegs” was a beautiful 17.1hh bay OTTB with long legs and the world’s cutest white snip.

Seven Bridges, also known as Ace, a Kentucky bred son of E Dubai, had me head over heels in love. Quiet and sweet, he had all the right makings of an easy horse to bring along. His canter was what we call “uphill” and he was reliable. Joell and one of my coaches encouraged me to put Ace into training at a show barn down the street and see how far we could go together.

I was astonished- this leggy guy could be all mine. I could see us flying around the cross country course, winning blue ribbons, and headed to Young Riders (a bit of a stretch but you never know!!) That thought lasted about 48 hours.

I put one of my younger students on him, and we ended the lesson with a little canter around the arena- her first time off the lunge line. He quietly struck off, and the girl proceeded to lope happily around, yelling, “THIS IS AWESOME!” I knew that moment this horse was never leaving Square Peg. I shed a tear- this horse belonged here.

He is meant to be teaching the next generation how to be patient, overcome struggles, and enjoy learning. It meant more to me to watch him teach others than any ribbon ever could.

 

Like all of us,the horses here are “Square Pegs.” Everyone should ride a horse that makes them want to explode in sunshine and love.

Ace is also currently in training for his and my show debut at the Woodside May Eventing show, with a crew of ‘tweens who have assured me they will be flaunting “Team Ace” t-shirts. That is what really matters at the end of the day- a community full of love and support. And a horse who bats his long eyelashes in trust and willingness.

Who says you can’t have it all?

 

Sponsoring Ace makes a special Holiday gift – The gift that keeps sharing joy and second chances for all of the Square Pegs who call the Ranch their community. The staff at Square Peg will work with sponsors to create a special momento if you would like to gift his sponsorship to a loved one.  A framed photo montage, a brass name-plate – The possibilities are fun – the gift is precious.

Monthly cost to keep a horse at Square Peg
$9228 annually $769 per month
Monthly Breakdown:

• Occupancy: $298 (rent, maintenance, insurance – does not include staff)
  Staff: $158 (includes care, training, grooming and exercise)
  Feed: $181
  Farrier: $39
  Vet: $52
  Other: $41 (Dentistry, chiropractic, supplies, supplements)

The holidays are upon us.

Short days, cold nights, warm beverages sipped from red cups…..

The fall harvest affords us the chance to convene and give thanks for all we have.The Solstice – however you celebrate it – is another gathering to help us through the the longest nights together.

In the Holiday spirit the pervading themes are – Togetherness, Community and Tribe. It’s this coming together that brings out the very best of who we are.

More than a ranch, more than a horse rescue, more than a riding program – the BEST of Square Peg is that we are a community.

From now until the new year, we will be publishing from the varied viewpoints of the Square Peg Community.

Essays, pictures and stories of how coming together in acceptance,  joy and service to the animals and to the families that trust us – makes us better, happier and healthier.

Today’s story is from Lisa Valerio – who is many things including an autism mom. We gave her 600 words to tell her story. She told it in twelve words and a photo.  She says that the smiles say it all. We couldn’t agree more.

 

 

Speaking at a conference last year, I made friends with Jill Carey who runs Festina Lente (Hasten Slowly) an equestrian

program in Wicklow, Ireland for disadvantaged kids. 

Jill presented on the last morning and the room was full. She had a polished presentation with useful advice, good stories and evidence based practices. People were leaning in. Towards the end, a mother with an infant shyly slipped into the back of the room – some of the women frowned. They’d seen this mother and baby in other sessions and the baby was notoriously fussy and loud. Sure enough, as Jill was winding up to deliver her key points, the baby started wailing.

Eyes rolled. Heads wagged.  I looked to Jill to see how she would handle this. She stopped talking, cocked her head and said in her lovely Irish lilt “is there anything more beautiful than the sound of a healthy baby crying?” She smiled and looked lovingly on the mother and baby.

The room changed immediately. I changed profoundly. Most of us were mothers and/or aunties and grandmothers and for a minute, we we all grateful that this child’s lungs were clear and her cry was robust and healthy.

My friend Jill, with a moment of gratitude and humanity, turned a roomful of resentment into a estrogen-laden love fest. With one question, she turned eyeball rolling to sighs of contentment and celebration. Through compassion – she moved the room to joy.

Wow.

So when I read this news story about neighbors suing an autism family for decreasing their property values. I wondered how to change the conversation.

Last night and was talking to a friend – a smart and thoughtful friend and she brought it up. She said she had mixed feelings after reading the articles.  She wouldn’t want to live around a kid that was “attacking her kids.”

She asked me to weigh in.

“Every family we serve at the ranch lives in fear of something like this. Each one has stories of how people see their kids as ‘spoiled’ ‘crazy’ or ‘undisciplined.’ They’ve been attacked in restaurants, found terrible notes on their cars and doors. Their stories will break your heart as a mother.”

Oh – she said.

“Every family” I continued “gets bullied by neighbors and even well-meaning family members about ‘all that kid needs is a good spanking/military school/whatever.'”

Wow – I didn’t realize – she said.

“One moment of compassion or a little effort to try and understand this family would make the neighborhood a real community and yet these neighbors chose to be small minded and turn the rest of the neighborhood against this struggling family. They had the chance to touch something special and they chose otherwise.”

My friend nodded and was quiet for a while.

Then I told her the story of my Irish friend and the crying baby. She was clearly affected. She was able to connect with the story of the crying baby and the shy mother in a way that she couldn’t identify with the autism family. But through that story, she began to understand. And it was good.

I wish I had one sentence that would connect communities to the autism families in their neighborhood in a beautiful and compassionate way. I don’t yet, but I will keep looking.

In the meantime, I’ll share one of my favorite bits of wild wisdom from the Sufi poet Hafiz

It’s your choice to be the small man or to be the Sage. Be the Sage.